Do you reward yourself for a week after you've had a productive minute?
Are you one of those people who does something productive and then rewards yourself for a week afterwards? I am.
In this culture of self love and rewarding yourself for a job well done is not a band wagon I need to jump on- I feel like I invented that wagon! I have to work quite hard at keeping the balance between effort and reward, as well as keeping tabs on what 'reward' really means for me. I need to be very honest with myself in recognising that celebrating doesn't mean causing chaos (no matter how little).
You see, I am so often overwhelmed by good feelings that I can easily sabotage a too-good-thing by any means possible- drama, chaos, celebration and distraction (too many to count). I have come to recognise this as an Upper Limit Problem (read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks) and I have now come to realise that I simply need to allow myself to feel the good feels.
I got so good at being with discomfort I forgot that we tend to run away from good feelings too! Why? Basically because we have deep rooted limiting beliefs that somehow make us feel we don't deserve them, or we'll alienate loved ones, or we'll basically just be too shiny for the world - for real. This is obviously the stuff of unhappiness- making and so I now I keep an eye out for those good feelings and expand into them, instead of running away from them. The result? More happiness and a continued upward spiral of everything. Yes, there are bumps in the road, always, but with internal resilience and happiness as my companion, I just move around them, over them, whatever.
I wasn't born resilient, I had to work on it. I now can say I've crated a system that really does work and I am thrilled to be coaching people on a daily basis in this program.