Choosing growth over perfection / by Cherryl Duncan

Hi there

I sincerely hope your year has gotten off to a good start and that you are still believing in and pursuing your goals with wild abandon, or at the very least, enjoying the journey. Are you?? Or are your well intentioned resolutions but a distant memory?

I'll tell you where I am, apart from in a new country which automatically led me to a place where I had to redefine my goals.

Achieving your goals and realising your dreams can often feel like the end of a good book. You wanted to so badly get to the end, to find out what would happen, only to be left kind of empty and lost once it's over.

We are hard wired to be following a dream or a goal (perhaps they are the same) and when we lose the fire to aim for something , this can cause a deep sense of purposelessness and even lead to feeling downright depressed. 

One of my desires was to have a partner to share my life with. I had achieved a lot of my career goals, my financial goals, my social goals, and I was pretty damn chuffed with myself and my life, but I did have the feeling, despite my previously failed relationships, that I'd like  someone to share in my successes. 

For me that meant having to essentially give up said life in Munich and move to Zürich. I made the choice willingly and decided to eat the proverbial shit sandwich that the choice came with. In this case, all the difficulties of being in a new place. If you've ever moved countries you will be familiar with the stuff that goes a long with it. There's the good stuff,,, new places, new sights, new smells, new ideas, new new new and that's very exhilarating , but it's also strange, lonely, foreign, and isolating for a pretty long while,,, until it isn't. 

This is when my tools for Self Mastery become my religion and goal setting and the capacity to dream never more urgent, but the goals are different. They're a little smaller again and it can often feel like 'I've been here before' and actually,  I have, and that's ok. 

Life is not linear, it's circular. Sometimes we have to revisit the same places, and do them a little differently. It's not easy but it's possible. 

So, if you're still reading , (Thank you by the way), and you are having to redefine your goals, know that you are not alone and that this process can literally start at any point, no matter where you are. Before you do anything however, and this is something I will often ask my clients before we start working together, and that is....

Do you want to grow ? Because realising your dreams will require growth. Fact. And growing can be painful. Growth can also, if you're very very clever at this, be the entire reason for doing the thing in the first place!  In my mind, one of the smartest things we can do; is develop a taste for the growing pains,,, that's a mega kind of personal freedom very few achieve and yet...  absolutely possible!

The alternative? Stay where you are or give up. For me that's almost never an option, but a perfectly valid position. I don't think this work is for everyone.  But if you do listen to the call, I will promise you this....

If you're very aware , quiet and open enough ,,,, perfection comes , at the moment you least expect , in a way you could never have imagined or forced or planned for ... because you chose to grow.

This is self mastery and also what yoga teaches us.

Good luck 😉