Seeing the dharma in films / by Cherryl Duncan

I recently watched ‘I’m not an easy man’; a French film about switching of gender roles. Sounds heavy, but it’s not. First of all, I love French movies, they’re often simple and profound in a way that doesn’t beat you over the head while it makes it’s point, and usually set against the backdrop of Paris or some other beautiful European city. Yes, Summer is approaching which means I will go on and on and on about why I love Europe, but I digress.

‘I’m not an easy man’ is basically about a guy who bangs his head on a pole and wakes up from his unconscious state in a world where the gender roles are reversed. Women treat men as objects of desire alone, disrespect them regularly, have pressure to make money and be seen as successful, hell, the women don’t even wear bras and go topless in the streets during a jog (clearly the French don’t understand the benefit of a lululemon sports bra). Sounds kind of cheesy as I write it, but I found the film amusing and worthwhile and enjoyed the fact that my brain had to continually realign itself to the new women-run world. It’s incredible to me how defined our gender roles are and how much brainwork it took to keep adjusting to the reversal. Very trippy. Very Cool.

Of course the guy falls in love with a woman who, (Spoiler alert) at the end of the film bangs her head and we see her wake up in a world where men have the opposite roles again and we are left wondering how this will play out. We’re also left with a profound sense that the two lovers will both truly, finally understand each other.

What touched me most about the film was its ability to touch subject of perspective so beautifully. It avoids the debate of what’s right and wrong as well as the usual pitfalls of feminism gone angry, and explores the possibility of a world where both sides were able to genuinely empathise and understand another’s perspective.

Wouldn’t that be an incredible world?

This is something I often talk about in my classes and in my blogs and stories because I believe it is at the heart of our connection to others.

It’s not about who’s right, it’s not about the facts all the time, but rather, it’s about taking the other’s perspective, even for a little while. It’s saying, ‘I see you, I understand you, I can imagine what it’s like to be you’. And mean it.

It’s all we need as humans, to be genuinely seen and heard.

Practice this today when someone talks to you or even sends you a text. Hear them, get out of your own story for 5 minutes and imagine what it’s like to be them. Then respond in a way that has nothing to do with you and your story, but just a simple genuine reflection. Then watch and let the magic happen.

The Dalai Lama, and the Buddha (guess that’s where he got all this stuff from) talks a lot, almost all the time about compassion, but compassion is such an incredibly complicated emotion and something that actually needs to be cultivated and almost taught through practices and meditations; that I say, let’s rather start with empathy, a genuine and sincere seeing of others, because I think that’s more urgently needed. Then we can go on to compassion from there.

 Wishing you beautiful connections

 

Love

Cherryl